White Canvass

There is something about flying literally above the world that gives you a freedom to think outside of the boundaries of your earth-tethered life.  As I took off from Reagan National Airport, leaving DC and Northern Virginia behind to find new adventures in Oregon, I cried some mostly anxious tears (with a salting of mother-child separation), and then, attempting to hide my tears from my seat mate, looked out the window, wiping away the traces with my ninja tissue.

I saw the earth growing smaller and the city and its drama and its history and its roots diminish beneath me.  And then, as if on cue, the clouds we entered began to obscure my view of the highways and the buildings and the life I'd known for 54 years.  And as I pondered the meaning and tried to think of intelligent pithy things to think and say about it, the clouds grew denser, creating an entirely blank, vast, white canvass.  The symbolism wasn't lost on me.

This life I was headed towards was completely unknown and unwritten.  My planner/Type A self had of course arranged lodging and transportation, and I had a vague idea of initial steps to take...find a home, buy a car, get connected to people ASAP via church, Toastmasters, the local Chamber of Commerce, etc.  But other than that, I didn't really know what to expect, and I didn't have a clear vision of what my life would be.

I feel radically blessed because most people who move are going towards something--perhaps a job--or away from something--maybe a relationship.  Or at least I've imagined that's what they do. 

But I have been given the golden ticket.  I have a means of income that doesn't care where I do it from, and in fact utilizes its mobility as a positive vehicle of growth.  I can do my job in Virginia FROM Oregon, and also create new possibilities in Oregon as well.  So, it's not a job I'm going towards nor do I have to worry about finding employment.

The only significant relationships in my life are my children and my friends.  I'm not going to lie. Leaving them was HARD.  But distance doesn't end our connection in any way.  It only makes it logistically more challenging to touch.  I feel completely open to any new relationships I may encounter, be they of the friendship, business, or romantic type.  I'm not going specifically to look for a husband.  But I am open to the possibility of meeting any number of possible partners.  I'm not intent on finding a new best friend.  Yet, I'm anticipating all the new friends and acquaintances with the fervor of a new book by a favorite author.  What will the characters be like?  How will they enhance the story?  And in this case, the story is MY LIFE. 

Lots of people asked me before I left, "Are you so excited?"  I think I am only beginning to truly realize the expanse of this new chapter and the potential for growth in my heart and mind as I experience the NEW.