I always thought that the natural trajectory of one's life included going off to college and having an adventure. As a parent of college aged kids, I thought the natural steps were that THEY would go off to college and I would be left an empty nester, either wallowing in tears and in need of a puppy, or hooting and hollering in celebration as I started planning outings with friends.
Well, I never left for college. Introvert that I am, I stayed close to home, literally. I commuted to college and enjoyed the quiet and privacy of my own bedroom. No dorm parties for this girl! I guess my parents didn't get to wallow or whoop it up.
And now, at an age where my own children are the ones to be leaving, I find it is me, instead, that is departing the nest. An unexpected turn of events for all involved.
This sojourn to Oregon feels like what I imagine it WOULD have felt like had I gone away to college or off to a new job after graduation. And I got to wondering, how similar, really, are the two?
So I went online and found an article describing the 8 things first year college students fear the most. Let's see how I compare:
1. Am I smart enough?
Well, I'm assuming no one will actually make me take any tests or give me any grades as I muddle through this unknown territory of living on my own in a strange place. But, on a certain level, I suppose I wonder if I'll "make the cut." I mean, I've got a business to run...will I be able to keep up with whatever business acumen people in Oregon have? As an Oregonian with no experience being an Oregonian, can I even call myself an Oregonian? And will I be judged by my ability to pronounce "Willamette?"
2. Will my roommate be weird?
Well, that's an obvious one. He is indeed. My cat Bo has OCD and licks window blinds and all the fur off his belly. THAT'S pretty weird.
3. Where's my new best friend?
I do wonder this. My best friends are currently on the east coast and I'll be far away, though only a phone call away. But I do think about the possibilities. Maybe a new awesome friendship awaits me. I certainly hope I find some gal pals to hang out with to see movies, do lunch, go for bike rides, go to the theater, practice yoga...lots of possibilities. I'm optimistic and saying things to myself like, "What if my next new friend has a vacation home at the coast that she frequently invites me to?" That kind of thing.
4. Will I be okay without my folks, my dog, and my car?
At my age, my "folks" aren't so much parents or even family, but my people. My church community has become my family, and I will miss them terribly, and have relied on them for so much over the years in the way of support and guidance. I am happy to report that I have already connected with some people at a church in Eugene, so hope to develop a support system there too. I don't have a dog, but I do have a cat, and he is my roommate, so I don't have to live without him! And car...yes, that's still up in the air. I'm selling my car here in Virginia, renting a car for a week when I get to Oregon...and then? Still don't know...biking is very popular there, and I've never tried Uber...we shall see. Also, my company car, a white Mercedes Benz, is available at my next promotion...
5. Where's the party?
See, this one flummoxes me. I didn't go away to college cuz I didn't want to be forced to party 24/7. I'm not saying I never did, but it wasn't my reason for going to college. And now, 37 years later, I find I don't drink, don't like to stay up late, and avoid large crowds. So, unless you are defining "party" as a few friends hanging out cooking together or some happy five-year-olds popping balloons, I'm not looking for a party. But that being said, I do hope to make friends and connections and have a social life.
6. Peer pressure for sex.
Well...unless there's some things I don't know about Oregon yet, I'm fairly certain this won't be an issue. Now, I do hear that Portland has an annual naked bike race...but naked and sex are really two different things, and Portland's going to be about 3 hours away.
7. Where's the money?
Hopefully, in my bank account from the sale of my house here in Virginia, and quickly to be followed by an avalanche of success as my business takes off into the stratosphere!!
8. Is it safe here?
I have thought about this, being a woman on her own. And I guess it boils down to this. I mostly trust people are good. I don't roam dark alleys alone at night with my head down, and just in case, I bought a pepper spray. But joking aside, of course there's apprehension about the unknown. But I do feel confident that my life will be good, and certainly no LESS safe than here in Manassas.
So off I head to my new adventure with the greenness and enthusiasm of a high school graduate mixed with the experience and confidence of a mature woman. A mature woman that apparently likes hanging out with five-year-olds popping balloons.
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Getting There Part I
Have you ever noticed that, even when you're planning an amazing, relaxing vacation, the logistics of actually planning it are incredibly stressful, often expensive, and super time consuming? I mean, it's not just reservations on a plane or train or cruise ship. It's getting passports, or shopping for the clothes you'll need (or that satin money belt from REI that you read online was the best one, and there isn't even an REI that close). It's the planning the route, if you're driving, which means maps or GPS, or lots of online research as to the best wineries to stop at or which restaurants have Gluten Free (GF) menus. It's planning an itinerary, particularly if you're a Type A, must know The Plan kind of person like me.
When I went to Europe the summer before last, we had SO much planning and research to do. We were going to three countries and staying in four Airbnb's, and flying and taking trains and subways. Then there was the packing. I mean, pack enough clothes for 10 days, but still not pack too many clothes since we each only wanted one rolling bag and a backpack. And then it was finding good walking shoes, and breaking them in. And going to AAA to get money converted to euros. And finding someone to watch the cat. And making sure the bills still got paid. And trying to eat everything in the fridge before you left. I mean, it's stressful.
Now making a move is a whole other kind of stress. And I've moved a lot in my time. Let's see. Okay, I'm going to count here, hold on....so I think it's seven times? (I guess that isn't much compared to a military family, but it feels like a lot!)
But guess what? They were all in Virginia! Sometimes in the same town in Virginia (my last four houses have all been in Manassas over a 25-year period). So, sometimes we did it ourselves, sometimes with movers, but never far and never packing that carefully.
Now I'm going across the country! That's a little different. And I'm going alone, so no one on the other end to help me unload.
It was because of this that I decided not to bring any furniture. I don't even know where I'll be living yet, so I wasn't sure what would fit or what I'd need. Plus, it's flipping expensive to move your stuff!
Originally, my son and I were going to drive a small U-Haul out to Oregon, and tow my car behind us. We'd take turns driving, I'd get to spend some time with him, he could help me with the cat and unloading the truck and keep my company.
But then I thought about my sciatica. And I thought about not being able to "work" for 10 days and the cat being in his carrier for so long. And towing a car...that sounds difficult, slow, and dangerous.
So, instead, I decided to sell the car and fly out with the cat. I'd ship a few meager belongings to myself. Mostly boxes full of books and art and all my Arbonne paraphernalia.
So wow. The options.
Option 1: Use professional movers with a truck. Well, basically I don't have enough stuff to warrant a truck, Plus it's expensive. Plus no end point to deliver it all to.
Option 2: Ship boxes on a TRAIN. Did you know you could do this? I found some article online about the cheapest options to ship stuff, and this was it! Sadly, though, I'd need to be able to pick it all up somehow on the other end, and I won't even have a car!
Option 3: Use PODS (and when I say PODS, it's like saying Kleenex. I may or may not be referring to the brand PODS, but just the type of transport, because it stands for Portable On Demand Storage--and the editor in me kind of flinched there, because I happen to think on-demand should be hyphenated here. But I digress).
Anywhoooo...PODS seemed like the best method. Why? Well, because I can have a fairly small one delivered to me, load it myself, have it driven across country, where it will be stored until I've found a home and can have it delivered, whereby I can then unload it.
There are a lot of PODS companies out there! And they all would sure love you to commit already to scheduling with them. You try to get a "free quote" and end up on the phone with a customer rep who really wants you to PICK A DATE now. They promise you can back out, but isn't that kind of like signing up for a month of free Netflix? They kind of figure you'll forget to cancel the subscription (which I have!) and then you keep getting charged. Except this isn't $9.99. It's like $3,000. YUP. $3,000. Or thereabouts. It depends on whether you want a container made of plywood or metal, and whether you want it to be water proof or not, or stored in a climate controlled space or out in a parking lot when it arrives. That kind of thing.
I finally settled on U-Pack, which promises the best construction, IMHO, of their pod, and while costly, seems to meet all my requirements.
And so now, it's a question of scheduling. I realized that, I need to be out of the house by closing... that's when the new people get the keys! And that means I need to schedule pick-up before that day, and pay the PODS people BEFORE closing on my house, which means that nice little sum I'm making from the sale of my home will not be available to pay them until AFTER I go to closing. Okay, slight fly in the ointment, since I don't happen to have an extra $3,000 to cough up just now, as I was busy spending all my free cash on fixing up my house so I could sell it! Sigh.
So, as a compromise, I am waiting til after the home inspector comes tomorrow on the off chance that they'll find something terribly wrong and unsafe that I'll have to fix (with that non-existent cash of mine) before we can go to closing. But, staying positive...all will be well...breathe. After the home inspection, I can call and reserve the PODS (I don't want to keep spelling that with the "S"...I'm only getting one container, one POD...but that only stands for "portable on demand").
Crossing my fingers and toes that the inspection goes well, and slowly mobilizing myself to pack a few boxes.
I will slow down the blog posts to once a week after I get myself out of town, but there is so much to consider, to decide, to negotiate, and to address in the next few weeks. And lest you think this will turn into a never-ending rant, have no fear. My plan is to chronicle meaningful events and exciting adventures, not just mishaps and frustrations. It's just that at this moment, my life is ruled by chaos and mess. :)
When I went to Europe the summer before last, we had SO much planning and research to do. We were going to three countries and staying in four Airbnb's, and flying and taking trains and subways. Then there was the packing. I mean, pack enough clothes for 10 days, but still not pack too many clothes since we each only wanted one rolling bag and a backpack. And then it was finding good walking shoes, and breaking them in. And going to AAA to get money converted to euros. And finding someone to watch the cat. And making sure the bills still got paid. And trying to eat everything in the fridge before you left. I mean, it's stressful.
Now making a move is a whole other kind of stress. And I've moved a lot in my time. Let's see. Okay, I'm going to count here, hold on....so I think it's seven times? (I guess that isn't much compared to a military family, but it feels like a lot!)
But guess what? They were all in Virginia! Sometimes in the same town in Virginia (my last four houses have all been in Manassas over a 25-year period). So, sometimes we did it ourselves, sometimes with movers, but never far and never packing that carefully.
Now I'm going across the country! That's a little different. And I'm going alone, so no one on the other end to help me unload.
It was because of this that I decided not to bring any furniture. I don't even know where I'll be living yet, so I wasn't sure what would fit or what I'd need. Plus, it's flipping expensive to move your stuff!
Originally, my son and I were going to drive a small U-Haul out to Oregon, and tow my car behind us. We'd take turns driving, I'd get to spend some time with him, he could help me with the cat and unloading the truck and keep my company.
But then I thought about my sciatica. And I thought about not being able to "work" for 10 days and the cat being in his carrier for so long. And towing a car...that sounds difficult, slow, and dangerous.
So, instead, I decided to sell the car and fly out with the cat. I'd ship a few meager belongings to myself. Mostly boxes full of books and art and all my Arbonne paraphernalia.
So wow. The options.
Option 1: Use professional movers with a truck. Well, basically I don't have enough stuff to warrant a truck, Plus it's expensive. Plus no end point to deliver it all to.
Option 2: Ship boxes on a TRAIN. Did you know you could do this? I found some article online about the cheapest options to ship stuff, and this was it! Sadly, though, I'd need to be able to pick it all up somehow on the other end, and I won't even have a car!
Option 3: Use PODS (and when I say PODS, it's like saying Kleenex. I may or may not be referring to the brand PODS, but just the type of transport, because it stands for Portable On Demand Storage--and the editor in me kind of flinched there, because I happen to think on-demand should be hyphenated here. But I digress).
Anywhoooo...PODS seemed like the best method. Why? Well, because I can have a fairly small one delivered to me, load it myself, have it driven across country, where it will be stored until I've found a home and can have it delivered, whereby I can then unload it.
There are a lot of PODS companies out there! And they all would sure love you to commit already to scheduling with them. You try to get a "free quote" and end up on the phone with a customer rep who really wants you to PICK A DATE now. They promise you can back out, but isn't that kind of like signing up for a month of free Netflix? They kind of figure you'll forget to cancel the subscription (which I have!) and then you keep getting charged. Except this isn't $9.99. It's like $3,000. YUP. $3,000. Or thereabouts. It depends on whether you want a container made of plywood or metal, and whether you want it to be water proof or not, or stored in a climate controlled space or out in a parking lot when it arrives. That kind of thing.
I finally settled on U-Pack, which promises the best construction, IMHO, of their pod, and while costly, seems to meet all my requirements.
And so now, it's a question of scheduling. I realized that, I need to be out of the house by closing... that's when the new people get the keys! And that means I need to schedule pick-up before that day, and pay the PODS people BEFORE closing on my house, which means that nice little sum I'm making from the sale of my home will not be available to pay them until AFTER I go to closing. Okay, slight fly in the ointment, since I don't happen to have an extra $3,000 to cough up just now, as I was busy spending all my free cash on fixing up my house so I could sell it! Sigh.
So, as a compromise, I am waiting til after the home inspector comes tomorrow on the off chance that they'll find something terribly wrong and unsafe that I'll have to fix (with that non-existent cash of mine) before we can go to closing. But, staying positive...all will be well...breathe. After the home inspection, I can call and reserve the PODS (I don't want to keep spelling that with the "S"...I'm only getting one container, one POD...but that only stands for "portable on demand").
Crossing my fingers and toes that the inspection goes well, and slowly mobilizing myself to pack a few boxes.
I will slow down the blog posts to once a week after I get myself out of town, but there is so much to consider, to decide, to negotiate, and to address in the next few weeks. And lest you think this will turn into a never-ending rant, have no fear. My plan is to chronicle meaningful events and exciting adventures, not just mishaps and frustrations. It's just that at this moment, my life is ruled by chaos and mess. :)
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Moving (Literally) into My Discomfort Zone
Hey there! Welcome to my first-ever blog! The sole/soul purpose here is to keep my friends and family informed, keep myself sane, and reach out to others who can relate by tracking my progress as I head off into a Big Life Adventure.
My life can be summed up here: I've never lived anywhere but Virginia.
So there you have it. I grew up in Virginia, went to school in Virginia, had all my jobs in Virginia, got married and raised kids in Virginia, got divorced and raised kids in Virginia, and established pretty deep roots in Virginia.
And I like it here! I do! I love the autumn with its stunning colors! I love the proximity to beaches and mountains and the city! I love my friends and my church and my house and my neighborhood. There is absolutely nothing wrong here. I've been gainfully employed since college, met plenty of partners (potential and not), and had so many opportunities to see stuff and do stuff, with friends, with my kids, on a date, and by myself. There's no shortage of things to love.
But...I've never BEEN anywhere else. Oh sure, vacations in New England, Florida, Outer Banks. Travel for work and for pleasure to the West Coast, Europe, Niagara Falls. I mean, I've left the state. But never LIVED anywhere else. Not even during college. I lived at home and commuted to George Mason University, which was kind of the trend back in the 80's.
And I've never lived ALONE. I went straight from my parents' home to a house full of roommates to living with a boyfriend who became a husband to living with my kids.
And now, at age 54, I take a look around me and this is what I see: No more parents (both have passed away); no more kids (both have grown into adults and moved out); no more partner (divorced over a decade ago, and no current relationship). It is literally me and the cat.
And it's not that I don't think I can be single here in Virginia. And there's no reason I should feel I need to "escape" where I am now.
But seriously. I've NEVER lived anywhere else, never been on my own. It's time. In fact, it's past time. And I don't want to wait another minute! I'm still healthy and relatively young. I have an amazing business that can move wherever I want to go, and there is no one for me to take care of or support (except my adorable kitty, Bo).
I kind of woke up one morning and realized, I was FREE. Oh don't get all judgy. I don't mean like parenthood or marriage was some kind of prison. Or that caring for my aging parents was a horrible burden. But I can't remember a time when I wasn't responsible (or at least felt I was) in some way for some other person. And recognizing that I'm not anymore, and seeing this opportunity to go on an adventure, well...it feels right. And on a good day, it feels super exciting and full to bursting with opportunity and as-yet-undiscovered treasure.
Of course, on a not so great day, like yesterday, I am terrified, overwhelmed, completely unsure, confused, and doubtful. But it usually passes.
And let's hope so, because I just sold my house and have told everyone I'm leaving! It'd be kind of weird if I, like,...didn't.
And so, I've decided a blog is a great way to let people know how I'm doing, but also, on a bigger scale, reach out to maybe people I don't know yet, or people I do know, but who haven't discovered their own inner adventurer yet, and give them a glimpse into stepping right out of that there comfort zone, like ON PURPOSE, and sharing the ups and downs, the trials and wins!
And I'm heading out to Oregon, which is pretty much completely random. Well, okay, I do have a sister there. But honestly, we'll be about an hour away from each other, and my whole plan is to live independently and like, see her on holidays. Or something like that.
Mainly, I like Oregon because it's fairly liberal, has a lot of health conscious people (Eugene, where I'm moving, is known for its joggers and bicyclists), and a lot of vegans too. This lines up well with my business (Arbonne) and my own personal philosophy on healthy living. I am also planning to join a mushroom foraging group. For fun.
I'll rent for a year and see if I really like it, then decide whether to stay, return to Virginia, or go somewhere completely different.
So, I'll keep you posted! This is just the beginning, before I've even gone to closing or bought a plane ticket! Many adventures yet to come here on the East Coast, I'm sure, before I can even find my way there.
So welcome to my blog! And stay in touch!
My life can be summed up here: I've never lived anywhere but Virginia.
So there you have it. I grew up in Virginia, went to school in Virginia, had all my jobs in Virginia, got married and raised kids in Virginia, got divorced and raised kids in Virginia, and established pretty deep roots in Virginia.
And I like it here! I do! I love the autumn with its stunning colors! I love the proximity to beaches and mountains and the city! I love my friends and my church and my house and my neighborhood. There is absolutely nothing wrong here. I've been gainfully employed since college, met plenty of partners (potential and not), and had so many opportunities to see stuff and do stuff, with friends, with my kids, on a date, and by myself. There's no shortage of things to love.
But...I've never BEEN anywhere else. Oh sure, vacations in New England, Florida, Outer Banks. Travel for work and for pleasure to the West Coast, Europe, Niagara Falls. I mean, I've left the state. But never LIVED anywhere else. Not even during college. I lived at home and commuted to George Mason University, which was kind of the trend back in the 80's.
And I've never lived ALONE. I went straight from my parents' home to a house full of roommates to living with a boyfriend who became a husband to living with my kids.
And now, at age 54, I take a look around me and this is what I see: No more parents (both have passed away); no more kids (both have grown into adults and moved out); no more partner (divorced over a decade ago, and no current relationship). It is literally me and the cat.
And it's not that I don't think I can be single here in Virginia. And there's no reason I should feel I need to "escape" where I am now.
But seriously. I've NEVER lived anywhere else, never been on my own. It's time. In fact, it's past time. And I don't want to wait another minute! I'm still healthy and relatively young. I have an amazing business that can move wherever I want to go, and there is no one for me to take care of or support (except my adorable kitty, Bo).
I kind of woke up one morning and realized, I was FREE. Oh don't get all judgy. I don't mean like parenthood or marriage was some kind of prison. Or that caring for my aging parents was a horrible burden. But I can't remember a time when I wasn't responsible (or at least felt I was) in some way for some other person. And recognizing that I'm not anymore, and seeing this opportunity to go on an adventure, well...it feels right. And on a good day, it feels super exciting and full to bursting with opportunity and as-yet-undiscovered treasure.
Of course, on a not so great day, like yesterday, I am terrified, overwhelmed, completely unsure, confused, and doubtful. But it usually passes.
And let's hope so, because I just sold my house and have told everyone I'm leaving! It'd be kind of weird if I, like,...didn't.
And so, I've decided a blog is a great way to let people know how I'm doing, but also, on a bigger scale, reach out to maybe people I don't know yet, or people I do know, but who haven't discovered their own inner adventurer yet, and give them a glimpse into stepping right out of that there comfort zone, like ON PURPOSE, and sharing the ups and downs, the trials and wins!
And I'm heading out to Oregon, which is pretty much completely random. Well, okay, I do have a sister there. But honestly, we'll be about an hour away from each other, and my whole plan is to live independently and like, see her on holidays. Or something like that.
Mainly, I like Oregon because it's fairly liberal, has a lot of health conscious people (Eugene, where I'm moving, is known for its joggers and bicyclists), and a lot of vegans too. This lines up well with my business (Arbonne) and my own personal philosophy on healthy living. I am also planning to join a mushroom foraging group. For fun.
I'll rent for a year and see if I really like it, then decide whether to stay, return to Virginia, or go somewhere completely different.
So, I'll keep you posted! This is just the beginning, before I've even gone to closing or bought a plane ticket! Many adventures yet to come here on the East Coast, I'm sure, before I can even find my way there.
So welcome to my blog! And stay in touch!
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